I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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