beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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