it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
