I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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