I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She announced her abortion via fbk
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
