Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
