I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
