Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
