I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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