there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
