u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
