I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize