i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
