You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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