I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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