doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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