how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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