Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Randomize
