DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
