why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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