I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
