Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
