we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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