I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
