Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That accounts for only three of the penises
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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