I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
