when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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