I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
