So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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