So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
