after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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