My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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