I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
