their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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