I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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