she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
