I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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