He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
