You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
