Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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