I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize