Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
