I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
