you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
