Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
