guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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