There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
