I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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