I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
