Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The air was thick with penises
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
