So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
