Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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