yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize