you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
