what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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