you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize