What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
