I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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