Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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