After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
