um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
